Handprints on Hearts: A Celebration of Life Homily

             I would like to invite you to explore your hand for a moment. Look at your palm. Notice the lines, the curves, maybe any scars you might have. Notice the patterns that make your fingerprints, unique to you alone. Recall and reflect upon things your hands enable you to do. You can grasp the hand of another. You can play ball, cut paper, hold an eating utensil to feed yourself or another, create art, play instrument, shake a hand. Our hands enable us to do so much for ourselves and for others.

             Now I want to invite you to place your hand or hands over your heart. If you are comfortable, I invite you to gently close your eyes. Explore for a moment the hands of others who have touched your life and left behind a handprint on your heart. Undoubtedly, one handprint we will all find on our hearts today is the handprint of Bradly Lee Smith, Mr. Smith, “Uncle Fred,” husband, godfather, brother, cousin, uncle, mentor, colleague, friend. No doubt as we remember him, in our mind’s eye we see him with that signature grin on his face. Before you open your eyes, whisper a “thank you” to God for Brad and for the impact he had on your life. …. Amen.

             Handprints on hearts. Brad’s handprints on our hearts were evidenced in the countless comments posted on social media for all to see, both leading up to his passing and those posted since that time. Darleen found great comfort in the days of his sickness reading your outpourings of love to Brad. She read each one to Brad, and he felt your love. Even after Brad slipped into unconsciousness, she continued to read them. What an amazing gift you gave to both of them.

             Earlier this week, I took some time to read many of those comments. I noted several repeated themes. Here is a small sampling of the themes.

•  ·       I would not be who I am today without Mr. Smith. He truly cared about all of us and had an uncanny ability to figure out what every student needed to be motivated. He helped us believe that no matter who we were, we could accomplish great things.
• ·       Mr. Smith was an awesome man; one in a million who gave from the heart with no strings attached.
• ·       Mr. Smith cared about me and helped me learn to care about myself and others
• ·       He instilled in me a love of music that I now pass on to others.
• ·       He taught me that every person has something to offer in life.
• ·       Mr. Smith taught me about more than just music.
• ·       He touched every facet of our lives: he taught us respect, teamwork, patience, hard work, pride in myself and my accomplishments, leadership, cooperation, love….
• ·       He is the reason I became a teacher, a musician, a better human being

     Is it any wonder our grief for Brad’s passing is so deep? It was evident in the words you expressed and the acts of kindness you extended. The family is deeply grateful. Some would think that by this time, our grief would have subsided or even dissipated. Yet here we are today, and the sting of death is palpable in this place. We grieved when we heard his death was immanent; we grieved when word came to us that he had passed. We grieved each time we saw a post on social media about him, and yes, we will continue to grieve, each of us differently, unique to who we are and the nature of our relationship with Brad. And that is okay. Grief is God’s gift to us in that it reminds us of the preciousness of life in all life’s forms of impermanence.

 Grief will shift, change, morph, modify, intensify, wane, and resurge. But grief will never leave us. Grief never leaves us because of the handprints on our hearts left behind by our loved ones– the handprints that forever changed us. Grief will never leave us, nor should we want it to. Rather, we learn to cope and live with it.

 One way to cope and learn to live with grief is to share memories, which we will have an opportunity to do following this worship service in the time of breaking bread and fellowship. Rabindranath Tagore said about memories, “Let my thoughts come to you, when I am gone, like the afterglow of sunset at the margin of starry silence” (Stray Birds). Tennessee Williams wrote, “Has it ever struck you that life is all memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quickly you hardly catch it going?” (posted on FB by Darleen).

 So, in a few moments, we will intentionally enter the fleeting present moment, which is all that we truly have; and we will reflect and remember. We may weep, we may embrace, we may laugh, but we will most definitely grieve because of the handprints of Brad on our hearts.

 Earlier in this service of worship we sang the hymn, For All the Saints. Often, when we hear the word, “saint” we think of people whom the church has officially declared a Saint because of their religious teaching and miracles attributed to their lives. But that is only one definition of a saint. According to the letters of Paul in the Christian Bible, all who follow Christ are the saints. We are all saints, with all of our flaws, brokenness, failings, and shortcomings.

 As saints of God, we are on a journey striving to become fully human as God intended from the beginning. What does it mean to be fully human? In the Christian tradition, it means to be Christ-like or to be like Christ. What does that mean? It means to live love, to be love. It means to find our life’s passion and live into it with all our being; it means to live in such a way as to touch the lives of others for good, imprinting our handprints on hearts, for good.

 “For Good.” That is the title of a Stephen Schwartz song in the Winnie Holzman musical Wicked. This song comes near the end of the musical when the two protagonists, Glinda and Elphaba, sing about the impact each had on the other, 

 Glinda begins: “I've heard it said, That people come into our lives for a reason; Bringing something we must learn And we are led, to those who help us most to grow, If we let them. And we help them in return; Well, I don't know if I believe that's true. But I know I'm who I am today; Because I knew you.

Elphaba follows with: It well may be That we will never meet again In this lifetime; So let me say before we part; So much of me Is made of what I learned from you; You'll be with me Like a handprint on my heart; And now whatever way our stories end; I know you have re-written mine, By being my friend.

 Then, together they sing:  Who can say if I've been changed for the better? I do believe I have been changed for the better. …. Because I knew you, I have been changed…For good”

     This sounds a lot like a song we could sing with Brad, doesn’t it? I think he would have loved that because I understand from Darleen that “Brad was anxious for new musical compositions even though he always reverenced the classic pieces.” Hence the liturgy of this worship service today.

 Times like these push us to ask what is the measure of another human being. I think the sacred texts of our world teach us it is about how well we love. To have loved well is to have lived well. To even try loving well is pleasing to God. It is not about what we believe. It is not about being perfect or living a perfect life in a narrow sense of the word; rather, it is striving to be perfect in loving others, to impact them for good. It is to love for their sake and well-being and not for our own selfish gain. I think Brad strove in life to impact others for good. It was not always easy, but he kept trying.

 As we go through life, we all continue to learn that it is not always easy. We do the best we can and love at every possible turn to touch others for good. Today, we can give thanks that our paths crossed with Brad’s, some for a few short years, others for a lifetime. Because he knew us, because we knew him, we have been changed for good. I believe that this is true because in the love, compassion, caring he extended to us, we caught a glimpse of the Christ. Through him, we felt a touch of the handprints of God on our lives and this gives us hope for the living of our days, no matter how many we have left. And that is what the life of faith is about-- Allowing the light of Christ to shine through us and touch others for good.

 It is a mystery, but in the twinkling of an eye, Brad was changed from perishable to imperishable. From mortality to immortality. Being changed in the twinkling of an eye is not about some rapturous moment that will happen ‘someday’ taking some and leaving others behind. No. it is about what happens to each of us, every time we lose a loved one. It happens in the twinkling of an eye before we know it. Here today gone tomorrow, as the old saying goes.

 But, in the meantime, we live love. We work to love well, as Christ loved us. We love well in ways we experienced through Brad and others who strove to live a life of love for others. You are here today because Brad’s life was a life that touched your own to varying degrees. You are here today because Brad’s handprints are on your heart. His blood runs through the instrument of your lives and we give thanks to God for that love. In this experience we find God, because each of us carry the divine imprint of God on our hearts and in our DNA. In this knowledge we find comfort and we find hope.

 I close today with “Epitaph” by Merrit Malloy, a meditation often recited before the mourner’s kaddish (ka’dish) practiced within Reform Judaism. These are good and healing words for all of us as we deal with losing Brad and other loved ones.  

When I die give what’s left of me away

to children and old men that wait to die.

And if you need to cry,

5 cry for your brother [and sister] walking the street beside you.

And when you need me, put your arms around anyone

and give them what you need to give me.

I want to leave you something,

10 something better than words or sounds.

Look for me in the people I’ve known or loved,

and if you cannot give me away,

at least let me live in your eyes and not your mind.

15 You can love me best by letting hands touch hands,

and by letting go of children that need to be free.

Love doesn’t die, people do.

So, when all that’s left of me is love,

give me away. Amen.

     Go from this place today with hearts of gratitude for the life of Bradley Lee Smith. Go following his example and live love. Go, giving him away. Go, taking up the mantle of allowing your handprint to touch the hearts of others, for good. Amen.

"Solidarity"

My skin is white, so I do not fully understand – but I want to.

I have not lost a brother to an act of police injustice.

I have no family member who has been wrongly accused, found guilty, nor imprisoned for an act he or she did not commit.

I have no history of family who was lynched, burned, beaten, shot or enslaved, so I do not fully understand – but I want to.

I see your pain. It rips my heart to pieces – but I cannot say I know the pain you are feeling because I do not. But I want to. I need to.

I want to see. I want to feel. I want to understand in the bowels of my being, but I do not, at least not at the depths of your experience.

I cannot fully understand or feel your pain because I am white and therefore privileged. I have the privilege of the benefit of a doubt, no matter where I go, so I cannot understand. But I want to. I need to.

While I cannot fully understand, I will kneel in solidarity with you. I will kneel in solidarity because we are more alike than we are different.

We both bleed and heal. We both laugh and cry; we both hope and fear and dream. We both give love and receive love.

I will kneel in solidarity by calling out injustice and raising a voice for justice. I will call out oppression and raise a voice for equality. I will raise a voice for ending this subhuman madness called racism.

I kneel in solidarity because you are my sister, my brother, my mother, my father. I will kneel in solidarity because you are a person of infinite worth, goodness, and beauty.

We are one in this grand human family. Without you, I am nothing.

With you I AM and WE ARE.

6/2/2020

#blacklivesmatter

Intentions

For the last two decades I have been intrigued by full moons. I find my passions, energy, and creativity at their greatest in the days surrounding full moons. This intrigue and effect frequently prompt me to spend time outside under the light of the full moon. Several times a year John and I love to paddle the lake on which we live by the light of a full moon. We typically paddle our canoe to the center of the lake and watch the moon during its early ascent into the night sky. Saturday evening (May 18), just before we set out on our journey, I received a text from one of my anam caras reminding me that the full moon I was about to experience was a Blue Flower Moon, one particularly good for reflecting on "Life Intentions." I was inspired. As one who practices and teaches mindfulness I was fully aware of the importance of intentions, and Life Intentions, but I was aware neither of the rarity nor the power of a Blue Flower Moon. After a bit of informal research, I discovered the following about a Blue Flower Moon. A Blue Flower Moon occurs once every 2 or 3 years. The next occurrence will be in 2021. It is a Flower Moon because it occurs in May, the month where flowers are in bloom ( remember: "April showers bring May flowers"). It is a Blue Moon because it is the 3rd of 4 full moons in this season. Apparently this moon has a particularly strong pull and hence is a good time to reflect on our Life Intentions. Life Intentions are consciously selected commitments for how we want to live our lives. They are not to be confused with goals which are external accomplishments we work tangibly towards achieving. Rather, Life Intentions align one's heart, with one's life. They are those things which we desire or will to be. They begin in the soil of our souls. They are healthy, life-giving desires that have been planted in the humus of our hearts. We acknowledge and claim so that they will root and grow in our lives. Typically Life Intentions are positively stated and can be expressed in a short phrase or single word. They aide us in our becoming fully human and enable us to contribute to making our world (micro and macro) a better place.
As I reflected on my Life Intentions, I realized it was time for me to get back to my blog. My Life Intention is to be a grace-filled person who tangibly aids the journey and possible enlightenment of those whose lives I am privileged to connect. In my next blog I will write more about Intentions and Life Intentions. In the meantime, Live Well, Love Well, Be Well.
(For more information on Blue Flower Moons check out this link: https://www.geek.com/news/blue-flower-moon-how-to-watch-this-rare-type-of-full-moon-on-saturday-may-18-1787778/)

Living in the Present Moment

One morning while vacationing in May, my husband John and I decided to dine by the hotel pool. We took our breakfast biscuits and coffee and found a shady spot away from the main pool area. As we dined, sparrows gathered on the ground anxiously awaiting the dropping of a coveted morsel of bread. We watched the birds and noted their attentiveness to our every move. Some were skittish in their responses, others waited in patience. Unable to resist sharing some of my breakfast, I began dropping crumbs. More birds descended hoping to snatch a bite. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a lone sparrow, perched on the arm of the chair to my left. I placed a piece of bread in the palm of my left hand and slowly extended it toward the sparrow. After cocking her head to the left and then the right and back again, carefully assessing the situation, she mounted the air, hovering over my palm. Several times, she attempted to land. I sat still, watching. I spoke softly, inviting her to land. In a quick moment, I felt her tiny feet perch on my thumb as the peck of her beak snatched the bread from my palm. Before I could react, she flew off. I was thrilled. In a few moments, she was back, asking for more. I obliged. After the fourth time, I could see where she kept flying off to after grabbing each breadcrumb. It was a tall palm tree about 20 feet from where we sat. In a crevice at the top, where the palm branches emerged from the trunk, she had a nest of hungry fledglings. No doubt, they ate well that morning.

Reflecting on the gift of this experience, I am reminded of the importance of living in the present moment. That morning, as John and I dined, we were present to each other and to the world immediately surrounding us. Had we spent our time talking about what we did the day before or what we planned to do that day, this moment may have been lost to us. Living in the present opens us to the bounty of life’s daily gifts – gifts we miss because we spend too much time trying to live in the past or anticipate the future. Life is happening now and as it happens, it whispers for us to stop and pay attention to its bountiful gifts. When we do, we experience sparks of the fullness of life and we are better for it.



Insight--Living Awake

"Insight is not transferable" wrote H. Clayton Moyer. In my 21 years of teaching on the college level I have learned that insight cannot be taught. It actually must be caught. It's like a line drive that smacks into our ball glove simply because we extended our arm and opened the glove in the trajectory we perceived the ball to be going. Insight flies into our very being in serendipitous moments. It comes when we are not necessarily looking for it, or straining to make it happen. Yet, ironically, we must be open to receive it when it comes. If we are living awake, living mindfully, we have a greater chance of catching the insight. Living awake means living in a posture of readiness for whenever insight might surprise us. When insight comes, we must be willing to wrestle with the changes of perspective that it potentially demands from us and desires to bring to our lives. We must be willing to set aside our presuppositions of how things 'should be' and open our deepest selves to the possibilities of life. When insight comes we have the potential for a life transformation that increases our compassion and makes us more loving, open, and vulnerable to the hurting, broken masses around the world. Live awake. Practice mindfulness. Catch the insight. To paraphrase Ghandi, be the change that the world needs!

What is Mindfulness?

In my last blog I mentioned something about mindfulness. You may wonder what, exactly, is mindfulness. The word mindfulness is a translation of the Pali word sati. Samma Sati is the seventh step of the Buddhist Eighfold Path to Liberation from suffering (dukkha). Sati is most often translated as mindfulness or mindful attention, though it can be understood or translated as awareness or attentiveness. While mindfulness is rooted in Buddhism, the concept does not belong exclusively to this religion. It is a practice that can be found in various forms in all of the world’s major religions as well as in the areas of psychology, medicine, education and business.

The root purpose of mindfulness is to help us learn to live “awake,” or fully conscious to the present moment. It is awakening and releasing the subconscious mind to the gift of who we truly are, the gift of our True Self. As we slowly discover the gift of our True Self, our lives become transformed. We become gentler and more nonjudgmental of ourselves and others—all others, not just those who are look like us or think like us. We express tangible acts of compassion. We speak compassionately to and with others. In the words of the Christian scriptures, we become more Christ-like, because we are practicing “putting on the mind of Christ.” The fruit of this practice is unconditional love for ourselves, others, creation, and the Divine.

Living in a state of mindfulness calls us to intentionally live fully in the present moment (or as fully as possible). It is not easy to do; it takes time and practice. However, it is well worth the effort on multiple levels. I will talk about the benefits of mindful living in a future blog post.

I hope you are trying to spend at least a few moments each day with a contemplative practice. I mentioned three in the last blog. In future posts, I will suggest others. But for now, let me leave you with the words of three great teachers:

·         “Let go of your mind and then be mindful./ Close your ears and listen!” Rumi

·         “Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” Buddha

·         “In mindfulness meditation or Contemplative Prayer “We open our awareness to God whom we know by faith is within us, closer than breathing, closer than thinking, closer than choosing – closer than consciousness itself.” Thomas Keating

Monkey Mind and Froglessness

How many times have you sat down with the intention of meditating, inviting the sound of silence to surround you and penetrate your being when suddenly you found your mind racing with uninvited thoughts? You remember the events of the day, or what happened yesterday, or even years ago. You think about that project you have been working on. You recall a pleasant conversation you had a day or so ago. You see the face of a person you recently met. Your "to-do" list keeps poking you. Countless thoughts swirl around, tugging at your mind like little preschoolers demanding attention from you. The Buddha aptly called this experience "monkey mind," and reminded us that while it is perfectly normal and there is no need to become frustrated over it, we can work to gently slow our thoughts, eventually gaining control over them, at least for the most part. There are three ways that I have found helpful in the process of slowing down my monkey mind. 

• The first way comes from the Centering Prayer tradition of Christianity. Each time you recognize a thought demanding your attention, first acknowledge the thought and then imagine placing the thought on a barge. In your mind's eye, watch the barge carry your thought downriver. As the barge floats out of sight, call up your "word of intention" or focus word and silently repeat it to yourself to refocus your meditation or Centering.   
• A second way to address your monkey mind is to gently acknowledge the thought that wiggled into your silence and then turn your attention to your breath. Attend to your in-breath and out-breath as a way to return to your meditation. 
• A third way is playfully, yet effectively named, "Froglessness". Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that we are to strive for the attainment of "froglessness." He says that froglessness is the first attainment in the practice of mindfulness meditation. Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that our thoughts are like a frog on a plate. When you put a frog on a plate, it will not remain there. Rather, it will jump to another location. As we practice mindfulness, we give our intention to the practice of silence but like a frog, in a few seconds, it jumps off. When this happens, we gently pick up our intention and place it back on the plate. Given much time and patience with ourselves, we will attain froglessness, if only for a few seconds longer. (Thich Nhat Hanh's poem on this teaching can be found at the end of this post.)

Try using these ways, or one of your own, to intentionally practice meditation (the sound of silence). Practice it every day. If you need to, start with 5 minutes-- or even one or two minutes. Do not worry about whether or not you are doing it "right". It's not about "rightness"; it's about practicing it in your in your life. In time, you will yearn for the sound of silence and then the related practice of mindfulness will seep into every aspect of your life, not just the times when you intentionally stop to be silent. 

Froglessness
The first fruition of the practice
is the attainment of froglessness.

When a frog is put
on the center of a plate,
she will jump out of the plate
after just a few seconds.

If you put the frog back again
on the center of the plate,
she will again jump out.

You have so many plans.
There is something you want to become.
Therefore you always want to make a leap,
a leap forward.

It is difficult
to keep the frog still
on the center of the plate.
You and I 
both have Buddha Nature in us.
This is encouraging,
but you and I both have Frog Nature in us.

That is why
the first attainment 
of the practice-- 
froglessness is its name. 

(Source: Thich Nhat Hanh. Call Me by My True Names: The Collected Poems of Thich Nhat Hanh (Berkeley: Parallax Press, 1999), 180.