I would like to
invite you to explore your hand for a moment. Look at your palm. Notice the
lines, the curves, maybe any scars you might have. Notice the patterns that
make your fingerprints, unique to you alone. Recall and reflect upon things
your hands enable you to do. You can grasp the hand of another. You can play
ball, cut paper, hold an eating utensil to feed yourself or another, create
art, play instrument, shake a hand. Our hands enable us to do so much for
ourselves and for others.
Now I want to
invite you to place your hand or hands over your heart. If you are comfortable,
I invite you to gently close your eyes. Explore for a moment the hands of
others who have touched your life and left behind a handprint on your heart.
Undoubtedly, one handprint we will all find on our hearts today is the
handprint of Bradly Lee Smith, Mr. Smith, “Uncle Fred,” husband, godfather,
brother, cousin, uncle, mentor, colleague, friend. No doubt as we remember him,
in our mind’s eye we see him with that signature grin on his face. Before you
open your eyes, whisper a “thank you” to God for Brad and for the impact he had
on your life. …. Amen.
Handprints on
hearts. Brad’s handprints on our hearts were evidenced in the countless
comments posted on social media for all to see, both leading up to his passing
and those posted since that time. Darleen found great comfort in the days of
his sickness reading your outpourings of love to Brad. She read each one to
Brad, and he felt your love. Even after Brad slipped into unconsciousness, she
continued to read them. What an amazing gift you gave to both of them.
Earlier this
week, I took some time to read many of those comments. I noted several repeated
themes. Here is a small sampling of the themes.
- · I
would not be who I am today without Mr. Smith. He truly cared about all of us
and had an uncanny ability to figure out what every student needed to be
motivated. He helped us believe that no matter who we were, we could accomplish
great things.
- · Mr.
Smith was an awesome man; one in a million who gave from the heart with no
strings attached.
- · Mr.
Smith cared about me and helped me learn to care about myself and others
- · He
instilled in me a love of music that I now pass on to others.
- · He
taught me that every person has something to offer in life.
- · Mr.
Smith taught me about more than just music.
- · He
touched every facet of our lives: he taught us respect, teamwork, patience,
hard work, pride in myself and my accomplishments, leadership, cooperation,
love….
- · He
is the reason I became a teacher, a musician, a better human being
Is it any wonder our grief
for Brad’s passing is so deep? It was evident in the words you expressed and
the acts of kindness you extended. The family is deeply grateful. Some would
think that by this time, our grief would have subsided or even dissipated. Yet
here we are today, and the sting of death is palpable in this place. We grieved
when we heard his death was immanent; we grieved when word came to us that he
had passed. We grieved each time we saw a post on social media about him, and
yes, we will continue to grieve, each of us differently, unique to who we are
and the nature of our relationship with Brad. And that is okay. Grief is God’s
gift to us in that it reminds us of the preciousness of life in all life’s
forms of impermanence.
Grief will shift, change,
morph, modify, intensify, wane, and resurge. But grief will never leave us.
Grief never leaves us because of the handprints on our hearts left behind by
our loved ones– the handprints that forever changed us. Grief will never leave
us, nor should we want it to. Rather, we learn to cope and live with it.
One way to cope and learn to
live with grief is to share memories, which we will have an opportunity to do
following this worship service in the time of breaking bread and fellowship. Rabindranath
Tagore said about memories, “Let my thoughts come to you, when I am gone, like
the afterglow of sunset at the margin of starry silence” (Stray Birds).
Tennessee Williams wrote, “Has it ever struck you that life is all memory,
except for the one present moment that goes by you so quickly you hardly catch
it going?” (posted on FB by Darleen).
So, in a few moments, we
will intentionally enter the fleeting present moment, which is all that we
truly have; and we will reflect and remember. We may weep, we may embrace, we
may laugh, but we will most definitely grieve because of the handprints of Brad
on our hearts.
Earlier in this service of
worship we sang the hymn, For All the Saints. Often, when we hear the
word, “saint” we think of people whom the church has officially declared a
Saint because of their religious teaching and miracles attributed to their
lives. But that is only one definition of a saint. According to the letters of
Paul in the Christian Bible, all who follow Christ are the saints. We are all
saints, with all of our flaws, brokenness, failings, and shortcomings.
As saints of God, we are on
a journey striving to become fully human as God intended from the beginning.
What does it mean to be fully human? In the Christian tradition, it means to be
Christ-like or to be like Christ. What does that mean? It means to live love,
to be love. It means to find our life’s passion and live into it with all our
being; it means to live in such a way as to touch the lives of others for good,
imprinting our handprints on hearts, for good.
“For Good.” That is the
title of a Stephen Schwartz song in the Winnie Holzman musical Wicked. This
song comes near the end of the musical when the two protagonists, Glinda and Elphaba,
sing about the impact each had on the other,
Glinda begins: “I've
heard it said, That people come into our lives for a reason; Bringing something we must learn And we are led, to those who
help us most to grow, If we let them. And we help them in return; Well, I don't
know if I believe that's true. But I know I'm who I am today; Because I knew
you.
Elphaba follows with: It well may be That we will never meet
again In this lifetime; So let me say before we part; So much of me Is
made of what I learned from you; You'll be with me Like a handprint on my heart;
And now whatever way our stories end; I know you have re-written mine, By being my
friend.
Then, together they sing:
Who can say if I've been changed for the better? I do believe I have
been changed for the better. …. Because I knew you, I have been changed…For
good”
This sounds a lot like a
song we could sing with Brad, doesn’t it? I think he would have loved that
because I understand from Darleen that “Brad was anxious for new musical
compositions even though he always reverenced the classic pieces.” Hence the
liturgy of this worship service today.
Times like these push us to
ask what is the measure of another human being. I think the sacred texts of our
world teach us it is about how well we love. To have loved well is to have
lived well. To even try loving well is pleasing to God. It is not about
what we believe. It is not about being perfect or living a perfect life in a
narrow sense of the word; rather, it is striving to be perfect in loving
others, to impact them for good. It is to love for their sake and well-being
and not for our own selfish gain. I think Brad strove in life to impact others
for good. It was not always easy, but he kept trying.
As we go through life, we
all continue to learn that it is not always easy. We do the best we can and
love at every possible turn to touch others for good. Today, we can give thanks
that our paths crossed with Brad’s, some for a few short years, others for a
lifetime. Because he knew us, because we knew him, we have been changed for
good. I believe that this is true because in the love, compassion, caring he
extended to us, we caught a glimpse of the Christ. Through him, we felt a touch
of the handprints of God on our lives and this gives us hope for the living of
our days, no matter how many we have left. And that is what the life of faith
is about-- Allowing the light of Christ to shine through us and touch others
for good.
It is a mystery, but in the twinkling
of an eye, Brad was changed from perishable to imperishable. From mortality to
immortality. Being changed in the twinkling of an eye is not about some
rapturous moment that will happen ‘someday’ taking some and leaving others
behind. No. it is about what happens to each of us, every time we lose a loved
one. It happens in the twinkling of an eye before we know it. Here today gone
tomorrow, as the old saying goes.
But, in the meantime, we
live love. We work to love well, as Christ loved us. We love well in ways we
experienced through Brad and others who strove to live a life of love for
others. You are here today because Brad’s life was a life that touched your own
to varying degrees. You are here today because Brad’s handprints are on your
heart. His blood runs through the instrument of your lives and we give thanks
to God for that love. In this experience we find God, because each of us carry
the divine imprint of God on our hearts and in our DNA. In this knowledge we find
comfort and we find hope.
I close today with “Epitaph”
by Merrit Malloy, a meditation often recited before the mourner’s kaddish
(ka’dish) practiced within Reform Judaism. These are good and healing words for
all of us as we deal with losing Brad and other loved ones.
When I die give what’s left
of me away
to children and old men that
wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
5 cry for your brother [and
sister] walking the street beside you.
And when you need me, put
your arms around anyone
and give them what you need
to give me.
I want to leave you
something,
10 something better than
words or sounds.
Look for me in the people
I’ve known or loved,
and if you cannot give me
away,
at least let me live in your
eyes and not your mind.
15 You can love me best by
letting hands touch hands,
and by letting go of
children that need to be free.
Love doesn’t die, people do.
So, when all that’s left of
me is love,
give me away. Amen.
Go from this place today
with hearts of gratitude for the life of Bradley Lee Smith. Go following his
example and live love. Go, giving him away. Go, taking up the mantle of allowing
your handprint to touch the hearts of others, for good. Amen.
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